Common threats during divorce

4 Tips for Healing from Grief After Divorce

Jad J. Stepp

Jad J. Stepp is the managing shareholder of Stepp & Sullivan, P.C., a Houston-based firm that focuses on probate and elder law matters, as well as estate planning, personal injury, aviation, and maritime litigation. For over 35 years he has been trying lawsuits in both federal and state court and has been the lead trial lawyer in complex litigation in many areas.
Jad J. Stepp

The end of a marriage doesn’t mean the end of a relationship. When there are children and other mitigating factors involved, a divorce signals the start of a new kind of relationship with your former spouse – one that involves co-parenting and the need for effective communication.

When going through a divorce, it’s essential to give yourself time to heal from the grief you’re likely experiencing. Many aspects of your life change, and allowing yourself time for self-care and growing comfortable in this new chapter is vital for your sense of wellbeing in the aftermath of your divorce. Feeling grief after your divorce is natural. If you or someone close to you is experiencing pain after a divorce, keep these tips in mind to help you through the healing process.

Take Time to Grieve After a Divorce

Giving yourself time to mourn the loss of your marriage is essential. Loss is a natural part of life, and trying to ignore the grief can hinder your future wellbeing. When you grieve, you’re releasing energy that’s connected to the person or experience that you lost – like your marriage. Just because you’re grieving, that doesn’t mean you’re forgetting. Releasing that energy helps you get closure so you can reinvest in your renewed life. To do that properly, you need time to heal.

When speaking with your spouse, he or she is likely to be experiencing the same feelings. Keep this in mind and try to listen and be considerate. It’s also essential to reassure your children that your resentful feelings are not about them and that their relationship with both parents will not change

Dependency Can be Healthy to an Extent

Like grief, a certain level of dependency can be expected after your divorce. Finding support should be one of your highest priorities, and it can come in the form of:

  • Financial assistance
  • Emotional support
  • and help with raising your children. 

Relying on your spouse for this support is natural.

When you’re co-parenting after divorce or ending a long-term marriage, it’s not uncommon to lean on one another for companionship. While this can be helpful in the beginning, it can be unhealthy and hurt your ability to move on in the future. Finding your independence as an individual is critical for your personal growth after a divorce. It can be beneficial to seek out a therapist for assistance and guidance during this time.

If you feel like you’re becoming too dependent on your spouse for emotional support or companionship, reach out to your friends and family. Knowing that you have a close friend or family member you can trust and call in those moments when you feel vulnerable can help exponentially as you move forward in your life.

Build An Identity Outside of Marriage

Your self-identity is often tied to your status as a wife or a husband after being married. When you divorce, you rediscover who you are outside of your marriage. This phase often comes after your life has settled a bit in the days right after your divorce. But after some time, let your mind wander and try to remember what your passions were before your marriage. Sometimes, thinking back on what made you happy as a child or teen helps you learn what made you enthusiastic about life. Making new friends and trying new routines can help your future feel more peaceful and secure.

Embrace Your New Life as It Evolves

After building your identity sans marriage, your new life starts to become your new normal. Feelings of grief and loss pass, and eventually, you might begin to feel excited at the thought of a new relationship. As you transition into your new life, co-parenting and thinking about your future consequently becomes more comfortable.

Trusted Divorce Attorneys in Houston Ready to Help

The road to divorce can be a bumpy one with many questions that come up along the way. If you’re facing divorce, the lawyers at Stepp & Sullivan are here for you. With more than 70 years of combined experience, they use their legal expertise to serve and guide you through each stage of the legal process.

We advocate fiercely for our clients in Houston and use our experience to deliver the best possible outcome. For a free consultation on your divorce, call us today at 713-336-7200 or complete an online contact form.

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